Thursday, 23 June 2011

Snow Black and the Bee Invasion-I'm not Snow White

There are some similarities between me and Snow White-the porcelain skin, and being an animal lover, but thats about where it ends, I don't reside with 7 small men, do any housework or eat apples (unless they are non poisonous and in a pie) Recently though it seems i have been mistaken for her by the animals and insects that think they can come into my house, except they are not talking to me and tidying up, just causing me lots of stress.
In my last flat lots of grey squirels used to play in the tree next to my window and I'd watch them, stupidly thinking they were cute and harmless, that was until they day i realised they'd taken up home in my loft, gone were my sunday morning lie ins as they'd scramble about above me early on a morning, i had to adopt a new sleeping position that involved wrapping a pillow around my head to buffer the noise.
For the past two years in the flat i now live in birds have been nesting in the eaves-which is not good when i sleep in the loft conversion right next to the eaves, at the same time we had horny seagulls on the roof above, again the pillow wrapping technique came in handy.
This year, when i thought we might have escaped animals coming to live with us, bees have decided that it'd be a good idea to nest somewhere beneath our roof tiles. It's the worst invasion so far because somehow we have managed to provide a home for directionless bees who end up lost and drowsy in our living room and kitchen.
When it comes to bees and wasps i think you can only end up in one of two camps-those who stay still and keep calm, and those who scream, run and throw their arms about, i fall into the latter. It's a proven technique that has been well practiced over the years; i can put it into practice in any public place and not feel embarrassed, anything to avoid the sting. This time, with the bee invasion, i've had to toughen up and actually catch them to get them out-jam jar in one hand, piece of card in the other, foot pushing the cat away, and fully prepared to run if all else fails.
So this is a plea to all future pests, please find snow white, she will sing to you and be nice, i will just scream very loudly at you and my cat may try to eat you.

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