Snow Black and the getting ready game (Being a grown up is rubbish)

Last night I went out with my lovely Edinburgh girl friends, I haven't been on a proper night out in ages , I always used to love getting ready for a night out, sometimes it was better than the night itself, but whereas in the past I could spend hours between the bathroom and bedroom I now seem to have to manage it in about an hour, being an adult is rubbish sometimes, this is one of these times....I decided to think back to all the nights of getting ready gone by...

Getting ready for a night out over the years....

...school disco nights out aged 13...
go to friend's house after school for tea before getting ready//douse yourself in loulou blue perfume//apply entire boots 17 make up counter to your face//smother yourself in body glitter//watch the simpsons//listen to pulp//put on your best topshop outfit//paint each others nails//get ready for a night of dancing to macarena and drinking cola.

...sixth form nights out aged 16/17...
get together with the girls and share a bottle of peach schnapps and lemonade//down a few interesting shot concoctions//all sing badly to gloria gaynor or dolly parton//discuss boys//wear your highest heels and try to make yourself look old enough to drink//take out the £20 you earned at your saturday job and prepare to spend it all//hire a minibus to pick up everyone you know and make the poor drivers job hell for the next 20 minutes//head to a pre club bar crawl and drink as much aftershock as possible//look forward to a night that ends either.... at the Empire college party //sat in the pizza takeaway sharing a garlic bread with lots of other drunk people//on a boat with a revolving dancefloor(grim times)//calling your dad from a phonebox at 3am after ending the night in Redcar and realising you have no idea how to get back (sorry dad)....

...university freshers night out aged 19...
realise you don't have a full length mirror and try to balance yourself on your bed to asses your outfit//realise now you're a student you can get away with wearing anything you like//adopt a going out uniform of red t shirt, black skirt, fishnet tights and converse//discover that people in edinburgh wear coats to go out in and get stared at going out in winter in what might as well be underwear//wear only eyeliner to give yourself more drinking time//get friends to dye your hair black//go to the shop and buy a bottle of the cheapest vodka possible and some rola cola//listen to some elastica or le tigre for a bit of solo bedroom dancing//look forward to spending a night anywhere that only charges £1 for a vodka.....end the night sat with a friend sharing a loaf of white bread and dipping it into a jar of mayonnaise//wonder how you discovered that this tasted so good//wonder why you've gained 10 pounds since you became a fresher//ask friends for help getting out of your overly complicated lace up top//vow never to touch the cheap vodka again.......

...nights out now aged 27...
..run down to debenhams for an emergengy eyebrow threading after work before you start to resemble Frida Kahlo..
..realise you don't live with your mam and dad or have the excuse of being a student and actually have to do some housework so your friends have somewhere to sit when they arrive//this gives the excuse of being able to wear favourite vintage 101 dalmations apron...


Have no time to find what music you really want to listen to so find the first good band that starts with an "A" in your collection (ART BRUT) and discover it is quite good to get ready to...
Wonder how you will get ready in one hour when this used to take hours in the past//have a shower then smother yourself in body lotion and a spritz of matching perfume to make you feel like you're body isn't so tired from work//give yourself 15 minutes to do your make up and make yourself look like you didn't get up at 6am//have no idea what you're wearing and have to use your hair straighteners wearing only your underwear and hope you don't have an unfortunate burning accident//have a nice cup of tea
Try to find out the dress you had in mind from your overfilled wardrobe...

Try dress on with 10 minutes before everyone arrives and realise its not looking right...

continue to wear unsuitable dress whilst getting distracted playing with your camera settings even though you have no time//sense the burning smell coming from the camera and undress again..

...with not much time to go dig out your failsafe black very clingy dress and thank god you've been doing ab crunches religiously for the past fortnight and can get away with it//wonder whether 8 years after your obsession with fishnets ended, you can pull the look off again...



decide against the fishnet look after recalling the amount of times you got attached to things during your obsession with them and had to sit the next day repairing all the holes...go for failsafe seamed tights instead...


do a bit of last minute backcombing and hairspraying before everyone arrives//look forward to a night of food, chat, and finally, a much needed cocktail.....or three..